Seandainya Pacaran Adalah Kriminalitas

Kriminalitas, menurut kbbi-online, kriminalitas adalah suatu perbuatan yang melanggar hukum pidana. #Itu kan menurut kbbi (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia). Sementara masyarakat umum tidak terlalu tahu apa itu "pidana" sehingga definisi umum kriminal adalah suatu perbuatan yang melanggar hukum. Kriminalitas tidak selalu berbentuk kejahatan, ada juga yang bukan kejahatan tetapi termasuk dalam kategori kriminal, misalnya perjudian, diatur dalam KUHP pasal 303 *kalo nggak salah :p.

Ah, sudah kebiasaan saya jika menulis artikel selalu berbelit-belit. Mari kita lanjut, dalam hukum pidana ada aturan yang menyebutkan bahwa siapa saja yang memberi kesempatan adanya kriminalitas,  dia juga akan ikut dihukum. Dalam pasal 303 (1) point 1 yang berbunyi "dengan sengaja menawarkan atau memberikan kesempatan untuk permainan judi dan menjadikannya sebagai pencarian, atau dengan sengaja turut serta dalam suatu perusahaan untuk itu;"  dengan jelas menyebutkan bahwa yang tidak berjudi tapi memberi kesempatan juga akan dipidana.

Oke, kita hubung-hubungkan sesuatu yang nggak ada hubungannya ya. Sebelumnya kita sepakati bersama bahwa kriminal adalah suatu perbuatan yang melanggar hukum. Selanjutnya, kita bahas mengenai pacaran. Kita sepakati juga bahwa pacaran termasuk perbuatan yang dilarang dalam agama Islam. Untuk keterangan larangannya, bisa  dibaca di sini, atau search di google. 

Lantas hubungan antara kriminalitas dan pacaran apa? Hubungannya baik-baik saja,hehe... Begini, pacaran sudah jelas ada larangannya, tapi masih banyak muslim yang melakukannya, berarti pacaran termasuk perbuatan yang melanggar hukum islam. Cuma bedanya, dengan alasan klasik "Hak Asasi Manusia" atau "Indonesia bukan negara islam" akhirnya pacaran nggak dianggap sebagai kriminalitas oleh mayoritas muslim. Kita sama-sama tahu gimana ramainya orang berpacaran, nggak kenal tempat nggak kenal waktu. Di sekolah, di mall, di bioskop, di mana-mana sering kita jumpai orang pacaran, tapi dibiarkan saja.

Sekarang kita bayangkan, seandainya pacaran itu kriminalitas, atau dengan kalimat yang lebih jelas Seandainya orang-orang sadar bahwa pacaran adalah kriminalitas, maka dijamin nggak akan ada orang pacaran di tempat-tempat umum. Kita bandingkan, misalnya ada orang kecopetan, biasanya korban langsung panik atau refleks berteriak "Copet" atau "Maling", dan orang-orang di sekitarnya serentak mengejar sang maling. Tetapi kalo ada yang pacaran di tempat umum, orang-orang pada cuek angsa, angsa di kuali, padahal kan sama-sama kriminalitas. Hm... Sepertinya kalo orang-orang sadar bahwa pacaran adalah kriminalitas, pasti nggak akan ada lagi orang yang pacaran.

Sebagai penutup, kita sepakati satu hal lagi, kriminalitas tidak boleh dilakukan dimanapun tempatnya, baik di tempat umum maupun di tempat khusus, dan tidak boleh dilakukan kapanpun, mau siang atau malam, pagi atau sore tetap tidak boleh dilakukan. So, begitu juga dengan pacaran. Segitu aja deh. Thanks buat yang mau baca.

Sudahkah kita benar-benar Mencintai-Nya???

Boy : I Luph U, Please be my girl ?

Girl : Apa buktinya?

Boy : Demi Tuhan, aku tulus mencintaimu, setiap hari aku merindukanmu, bayangmu pun slalu menghantuiku, dan aku rela melakukan apa saja demi membuktikan kesungguhan cintaku padamu.

Girl : Bagaimana kalau orang tuamu tidak menyukaiku?

Boy : Aku sudah dewasa, dan aku berhak memilih jalanku sendiri, jika mereka tdk setuju aku akan meninggalkan mereka demi kamu.

Girl :Kapan pertama kali kau mengenalku? Apakah kamu tahu apa yang aku sukai, apa yg aku benci, dan sejauh mana kau mengerti sifatku?

Boy : Aku mengenalmu sejak kita kelas 1 SMA sampai sekarang kita kuliah semester 6, berarti aku mengenalmu sekitar 6tahun, dan aku jatuh cinta padamu sejak pertama kali kita bertemu.
Kamu gadis yg sederhana, supel, namun tak pernah bergaul bebas dng lelaki, kamu suka membaca dan paling suka berlama-lama di perpus, sdangkan aku tdk suka membaca namun aku suka berlama-lama disana memperhatikan mu yg begitu menikmati buku yg kau baca.
Kamu benci asap rokok, itu terlihat ketika wajahmu yg biasa tersenyum itu berubah cemberut ketika bertemu asap rokok.
Katakanlah,, cwok yang bagaimana yang kamu suka, aku akan berusaha menjadi seperti yang kau minta.

Girl : Listen boy,, I dont need All Ur love,, I dont need All Ur heart. Aku hanya mendambakan seorang pria yang mencintaiku dengan sisa cinta yg ia punya, stelah cintanya kpd Allah dan Rasulallah,,
Let me ask U, did U really love Allah?
Jika jawabanmu iya, Sudahkah kau rela mengorbankan segalanya demi meraih Cinta-Nya seperti engkau rela mengorbankan apa saja demi mendapatkan cintaku? Kau bilang kau rela meninggalkan orang tuamu demi aku, orang tua yg telah melakukan segalanya demi kebahagiaanmu, yg telah membesarkanmu dng curahan kasihnya, hanya demi aku,,,??aku yang belum pernah melakukan apa-apa untukmu?
Jika kau benar-benar mencintai Allah sudahkah kau benar-benar mengenal-Nya? Asmaul husna-Nya? Apa saja yg Allah benci, dan sudahkah kau berusaha menjauhi? Apa saja yg Allah perintahkan, sudahkah kau mengerjakannya?
Sudahkah kau merasa nikmat dan bahagia dng ibadahmu?
Ataukah kau hanya menganggapnya sebagai rutinitas semata?
Sudahkah kau bnyak mengingat dan merindukan-Nya melibihi kau mengingat dan merindukan ku?
Demi Allah yang jiwa kita adalah milik-Nya, hidup kita adalah untuk beribadah pada-Nya, Jangan jadikan cinta kita pada makhluk sebagai tandingan Allah, apalagi sampai melebihi cinta kita pada-Nya.
Selama ini engkau menganggapku teman, tapi aku menganggapmu saudara.. ya, saudara seiman. Jika kau memang mencintai seseorang, cintailah dia karena Allah, karena aku juga sedang belajar mencintai seseorang karena Allah Ta’aala.

Boy : Maafkan aku saudariku, terimakasih telah menyadarkanku,, boleh kah aku tahu, bagaimana caranya agar aku bisa mencintai seseorang karena Allah?

Girl : Mari kita Belajarlah mencintai-Nya, belajar mengenal-Nya, belajar menjadikan Allah yang paling bertahta dihati kita, belajar Islam secara menyuluruh, Jika kita telah benar-benar mencintai Allah , kita akan tahu bagaimana cara mencintai seseorang karena Allah Ta’aala , cinta yang kekal hingga ke Jannah-Nya.

Original Created by : Ameera ‘Afya’ Nurjannah.
andre tauladan | iamtp

Falling in Love: Allowed in Islam?

Question: What does Islam say about falling in love? Is that allowed in Islam? If it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah?

Answer: Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love for the sake of Allah and we hate for the sake of Allah. Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage.

We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control. You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.

Marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage and maybe it will grow until the couples continue their companionship at the Jannah.

If you have any affection towards a person, you should ask yourself: why do you like that person? If you have good Islamic, reasonable justification, then you need not tell that person of what you feel. However, you can make a serious plan to make him ask for your hand. If you want to know the meaning of fitna, a great part of it is what people nowadays call love or romance.

In this context, we’d like to cite the following fatwa that clarifies the Islamic ruling on falling in love:

“If we are speaking about the emotion which we call “love” then we are simply speaking of a feeling. What we feel toward a particular person is not of great importance, until our feeling is expressed in a particular action. Now if that action is permissible, then well and good. If it is forbidden, then we have incurred something that Allah does not approve of. If it is love between a man and a woman, the emotion itself is not the subject of questioning on the Day of Judgment. If you feel you love someone, then you cannot control your feeling. If that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden.”

Shedding more light on the issue in point we’d like to cite the words of Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He states:

In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as haram (forbidden).

As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.

If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity.

Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “That would enhance/foster the bonding.”

This permission notwithstanding, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person’s real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to consider primarily “the religious or character factor” over and above all other considerations.

Islam does not allow any illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allaah has established marriage as the legitimate means for satisfying sexual desire, and through marriage a man and woman form a family based on the laws of Allaah, and their children are legitimate.

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. To have a boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter the level of interaction and involvement, is completely haraam!

Contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said:

“I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may leads to fitnah (temptation).

Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh

The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e

contact the wali or the gaurdian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
Andre Tauladan | Tafrehmela